Emmie the Introvert: 2018

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Emmie's attacked by an Extroverted Acquaitance (EA)

Today we shall peak in on the bibliovert in their preferred habitat: the bookstore. Generally speaking, the bookstore is a "safe space" for biblioverts: it is quiet, people are more interested in searching for books than making small talk, it's easy to hide in a secluded nook and it is typically inhabited by other biblioverts.

Oh my! This could get interesting! Notice Emmie the Introvert, a known bibliovert, happily perusing the bookshelves. She appears completely unaware of the danger lurking just one aisle over- the Extroverted Acquaintance. Extroverts aren't always so easy to spot but the garish polka dots she is wearing, along with the impractical high heels, is a dead giveaway. Let's see what happens.

And it appears as though Emmie has been spotted! The introverts first instinct when approached by the much feared Extroverted Acquaintance (EA) is to run or hide. Will she succumb to her introverted instincts?

No! She appears frozen in place, unable to move or respond, as the EA unleashes a particularly vicious attack of small talk and blathering on. Will she gain her composure? Unfreeze and Run? It's anyone's guess now.

Woah! Emmie INTROVERTS! I did not see that coming.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Emmie goes into hibernation

*in order to read this post, you must use your best animal planet host voice. You know the one, where the host is sneaking up on the deadly, venomous, rabid stingingtigersnake? And he's moving slooowly towards his certain, violent death all the while whispering (because deadly, venomous, rabid stingingtigersnakes have apparently been unable to evolve ear canals, you know, being busy evolving venomous, stinging deadly fangs and all) and looking at the cameraman who most certainly picked the short stick and must now risk his life to film a deranged self-proclaimed animal lover who took a biology class once in high school and now fancies himself an expert on all deadly, venomous, rabid animal life.

Got the voice in your head? Ok. you may proceed.

"Here we are in the untamed suburbs of Columbus,Ohio, with an incredible and rare view of the species humanus introverticus. These antisocial creatures are very rarely spotted outside their own habitats, although there have been reported sightings at the occasional library under the cover of darkness. It appears this introverticus is preparing for their annual winter hibernation. Let's take a closer look."

Unlike other hibernating mammals, the humanus introverticus spends weeks, not gathering food but load upon load of books for the long winter days ahead. Here, we see an introverticus preparing to store her book haul and calling her loyal dog, whom members of the introverticus species tend to prefer over members of their own human species, to join her in her winter hibernation.

Moments later, the humanus introverticus and her dog have entered their winter habitat where they will stay, never to emerge, until the first signs of Spring.