Emmie goes into hibernation

*in order to read this post, you must use your best animal planet host voice. You know the one, where the host is sneaking up on the deadly, venomous, rabid stingingtigersnake? And he's moving slooowly towards his certain, violent death all the while whispering (because deadly, venomous, rabid stingingtigersnakes have apparently been unable to evolve ear canals, you know, being busy evolving venomous, stinging deadly fangs and all) and looking at the cameraman who most certainly picked the short stick and must now risk his life to film a deranged self-proclaimed animal lover who took a biology class once in high school and now fancies himself an expert on all deadly, venomous, rabid animal life.

Got the voice in your head? Ok. you may proceed.

"Here we are in the untamed suburbs of Columbus,Ohio, with an incredible and rare view of the species humanus introverticus. These antisocial creatures are very rarely spotted outside their own habitats, although there have been reported sightings at the occasional library under the cover of darkness. It appears this introverticus is preparing for their annual winter hibernation. Let's take a closer look." Unlike other hibernating mammals, the humanus introverticus spends weeks, not gathering food but load upon load of books for the long winter days ahead. Here, we see an introverticus preparing to store her book haul and calling her loyal dog, whom members of the introverticus species tend to prefer over members of their own human species, to join her in her winter hibernation. Moments later, the humanus introverticus and her dog have entered their winter habitat where they will stay, never to emerge, until the first signs of Spring.